A first week of spinach, squats and success!

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Monday
My alarm went off at 5:30am this morning!! For someone who usually crawls out of bed at 7:15am when they have to leave for work at 7:45am this was a massive MASSIVE achievement. Now not only was I awake at this crazy hour but I even managed to bash out a 20 minute HIIT session and cook protein pancakes for breakfast! Success!
I left for work equip with my two snacks and chicken salad for lunch. The snack scenario was always going to be tough because I’m someone who is used to snacking constantly at work! Not necessary on bad things, but I will enjoy a good few portions of fruit and healthy savory snacks during my grueling 8-5 day, however Joe tells me I’m only allowed ONE portion of fruit a day along side another snack which would be a challenge!
And it was, but I managed to just snub a snack with water or another bloody green tea!
I knew when I got home from work and was making my lunch for tomorrow or dinner for tonight I’d be tempted to pick so I kept my second snack for then to avoid the dreaded temptation! Nailed it.
Dinner was chicken stir-fry and I was so excited about it and knew I was all out of snacks for the day so would need to enjoy every bite and tried to do just that. (It was so delicious)
Now I have my last temptation to get through… the few hours before bed without touching anything. I’ve got half a bottle of water left and a green tea and distracting myself with writing this! I don’t want to count my eggs before they’ve hatched but hopefully this will be my first successful day of clean eating, no cheating and HIIT training. I plan to smash another 5:30am alarm and HIIT session tomorrow as well as a successful day and bang on plan! Watch this space.

Wednesday
As if I actually managed 3 whole days of 5:30am alarms, 20 minute HIIT workouts, lean meals, and no cheating!!
I’ll be honest, I feel very in control at the minute and the will-power has come from somewhere! I’ve even managed to kick the pointless snacking as I prepare my lunch or wait for my dinner to cook which is big turn around. I mean granted, it’s only day 3 officially but it’s a nice feeling to be in control and have the willpower to not crash and burn.. yet anyway!
I feel myself being nicer and more awakw at work which is a good sign! The weekend is coming which is always a worry, especially since there’s a silent disco (my fave!!) but I’m determined to stay strong! I really want to put everything into these four weeks and reap from the results.
So hopefully I’ll resist the temptation and if I struggle I just need to remember FAT BRIDESMAID. FAT BRIDESMAID. FAT BRIDESMAID!!!!

Sunday
It’s 17:23 on Sunday 17th September and I actually managed my first week 100% on plan!! I’m in shock but at the same not so because, (dare I say it) it was quite easy… see despite my love for food dipped in fat, I do actually enjoy healthy food so I’ve found the meals fairly easy to stick to because they’re honestly delicious! (The piri-piri cheesy meatballs are UNREAL!)
It really is just getting your head around saying NO to yourself. Your inner self.
Sure, there’s been times when I’ve wanted to have just “one sneaky biscuit” from the staff room, or a bite of a spring roll from my parents Chinese takeaway but you literally have to tell yourself NO! Pull yourself away, have a green tea, glass of water, read your book and wait until the next meal.
Since its only 2 snacks and 3 meals a day I found myself looking forward to my 3 main meals and really enjoying them.
Waking up at 5:30am was tough I won’t lie, but it’s so nice finishing work at 5pm and knowing I can come home and relax for the evening. This is enough motivation to get me up and get it done. Plussss waking up to protein pancakes are completely worth it because they’re incredible!
I managed to avoid my favorite Silent disco and jager bombs and spent my Saturday night planning my week. Then today went food shopping (after a gym session) so my fridge was stocked full ready for another week and that in itself is a nice feeling.
Having a grip on your diet and food almost makes you feel like you have a grip on your life. It’s a weird feeling but I do feel more alert and motivated. Having structure does make you feel a lot more in control and who doesn’t want control of their own life!
Now I have managed to keep myself off the “sad step” and haven’t weighed myself and vow not to until the end of the 4 weeks. I do, however feel better. I don’t want to jinx it and say slimmer so I’ll say less bloated, less stodgy, less heavy which has a knock on effect for my confidence. I mean that’s strange, I probably haven’t lost a lot (if any) yet I’m walking around feeling  better in my clothes because my stomach feels better.
It really is all bloody positive and as I go into my second week I’m feeling happy, motivated, healthy, positive, leaner, and determined to have another successful and kick as week!!
Cheers Joe Wicks you sexy mother fucker!!

Stop telling single girls they need a boyfriend!

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Picture the scene. Me and my mum sat down for a nice evening in (since I’m not drinking Gin) enjoying the Jonathon Ross Show. Despite finding him mildly irritating he had some interesting guests on this week so I had to grin and bear it.
Rag and Bone man came on the sofa. “Aw he’s lovely” my mum gushed. I did agree.
I mean he was a “mans, man” who came across very shy, yet genuine with a good sense of humour.
” Aw see, you need to go out with him! That’s what you need a lovely big guy!” (Emphasis on the big!)
I ignore her.
He goes on to announce that he has become a first time dad just 5 days ago!
“Oh no!!! You missed your chance” … but my Mother was being deadly serious. She was acting as if making Rag and Bone man my boyfriend was as easy as eating a chocolate eclair in 5 seconds. No!
I thought I had managed to escape the single bashing for one evening until the end of the show when Rag and Bone man was performing his new single.
After trying her very hardest to sing along but realising she knows none of the words she decides to blurt out “Don’t you wish a boy would sing this to you?”
What the fuck is going on here! I’m sat in with my Mother on a Saturday night, trying not to give in to the temptation of dancing on tables with a gin in hand (which is depressing enough) and she chooses to dig me out for not having a bloody boyfriend? Is she wanting me to cry? (not that I would cry over being single but you get my point!)
SOMEHOW somehow that wasn’t even the end! My Mother still had one in the bag before her third class of wine was empty… once Jonathon Ross had finished, the adverts came on. It had a flash of a man and a women holding hands and before the couple had even kissed she comes out with;
“You need to get yourself a boyfriend now!!” …what? There it was, third strike and third dig of the evening about my single bloody lifestyle.

My mum made it sound like picking up a boyfriend was like picking up bread. Easy.
I mean, I’ll admit with Tinder, Plenty of Fish, Snapchat, Instagram, it did seem to be getting easier to pick up a date for the evening. You could probably arrange a bang at 2:45am (I say probably like I never have) Dating these days was like buying ‘Pic n Mix’ Easy, convenient, and cheap. But you can’t find boyfriends this way! I mean maybe after months of hard work, game playing, rules and regulations, anxiety, stalking his social media, trying your very fucking hardest to be as “breezy” as possible. If you’re lucky and have managed to pick a good egg, then maybe, just maybe it can become a relationship. My mum just did not understand all that, and honestly thought you could find ‘the one’ from a click of your fingers.

Now to be fair if you’re not worrying about just settling for anyone you could get a boyfriend in few days and by the end of the week you could be writing “I love you baby” (VOM) on their Facebook page but I didn’t want that. I didn’t want any Tom, Dick or Harry to be my boyfriend. Why on earth didn’t she understand that, and frankly why wasn’t she happy about that? Why wasn’t she happy I wasn’t introducing her to a different fella every few weeks. Asking if Tom, Dick or Harry could come for a Sunday roast or finding framed pictures of me with a different ‘love of my life’ every few months.

The sad fact is my mum wasn’t alone with these thoughts  and these days it’s almost impossible to escape the dreaded ” Why haven’t you got yourself a boyfriend yet?”
For example I was at a family wedding recently, seeing relatives I haven’t seen in years and I somehow felt the same thing happening there. Instead of being proud that I’m hardworking and happy with a great job, good prospects, enough money to support myself  (and indulge) great friends and my independence, it was brought down by the fact that I wasn’t there with someone. That I wasn’t linked arm in arm with my plus one and parading him around my family like some sort of prize. Why wasn’t I enough? Wasn’t me travelling hundreds of miles up county on my own enough? Surely watching me socializing independently and making conversations with people I didn’t know or hadn’t seen since I was 7 years old was a good thing.
But nope, all of this over shadowed by the fact I didn’t have someone to get me a slice of pizza from the buffet table. Ridiculous.

Maybe I should have sorted “one” out a few years ago when dating wasn’t so disposable and there wasn’t so many fucking games and rules to drive you insane.
The truth is I’m a sucker for romance, the butterflies, the “Za-za- zu” as Carrie Bradshaw once described it.
That uncontrollable feeling of desire, passion, lust, and love all rolled into one. I know how hard that is to find, and how rare that is to have. (the real deal I mean) which is why I choose not to have relationship after relationship. Now I know you probably think I’m just saying this because I’m a fat chick who couldn’t get a boyfriend if she wanted one, so pretending she doesn’t makes it easier, but it was the truth!

Why should we be made to feel like we have to settle for someone we’re not compatible with. Or just choose the first guy who sends us a GIF on Facebook or a dick pic on snapchat just because we’re a certain age and ‘should have a boyfriend by now’.
We’re forever being made to feel like we should be thinking about ‘settling down’ well fuck that! We should be encouraging young girls to build themselves up and not rely on a man to this for them!
For me I would never want to be just “someones girlfriend” I want to me first. A person with their own views and beliefs, opinions and passions and I’d want to find a partner to go along side that. Someone who enriches your life, not completes it.
As they say “You have to love yourself before anyone else can love you” so why aren’t you stepping back and letting us love ourselves. Letting us learn who we are and what we want, before we invite anyone else along for the ride.

So yes, for the most part that is why I’m still fucking single. This is why I’m not chasing Rag and Bone man around on tour or going on dates with loads of guys and opening my heart to just anyone. Because I don’t want to settle for just anyone.
Please, can everyone stop telling us “We need to find a boyfriend” when what you really should be telling us is “You need to find yourself!”

A big hello from GinforGym

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Well, i’m actually here. Out of my comfort zone and (after having a quick look at other blogs) like a duck out of water, so please bare with me.
It’s been a while since I’ve had to think long and hard about paragraphs, punctuation and everything in between so please try and refrain from doing a Ross from Friends and correcting every error I make. (sure to be many)
For me writing blogs is something I’ve wanted to do for a long time. I love the freedom of writing and the cleansing feeling you get after you’ve done it, however I have only ever written in diaries for no one to see so I felt it was time to catch up with the times and put my thoughts down on a blogging site! Hooray!

Now the platform for my site is mostly weight loss.. after a long summer of Gin (obviously) takeaways, BBQs, shots, even more Gin, Pizzas, ciders on the beach and everything in between I knew, I really had to knuckle down and do something about my weight when I went up a dress size!! (What a wonderful start to September that was!)
Instead of writing about my daily dilemmas successes and temptations in one of my many diaries I decided to document it here. I thought i’d be a good way to track my progress and hopefully, maybe just keep me on track?!

So tomorrow I start the 90 day SSS plan from Joe Wicks. You know, the “Lean in 15” guy.
It consist of 3 cycles and allows you to track your progress and hopefully reap in the rewards after each 4 week cycle is done. Hopefully here i’ll be able to tell you all about (is anyone even out there?) my success and willpower to keep at this. Then, in 90 days i’ll be reading back on these with slimmer fingers (is that a thing?) feeling fabulous, proud and determined to make this a “life style choice” and not just a 3 month plan before I slip back into my Gin and Tonic ways!

I’m hopeful the blogs wont be all spinach, squats and tears. Aside from the weight I have other things going on and more crap to write about it so you lucky ducks are in for a treat if I do say so myself. (I’m sure it’ll just be 3 solid blogs of me crying about missing chocolate!)

So I guess this is all for now… a little introduction into this amateur blog of mine. If you’re coming along for the ride then Hello. Or maybe I should even have some cringey bullshit weight loss quote? “Goodbye from the old me and Hello to the new me”… no.

xx (Do people kiss on blogs? Oh jesus!)whale